From Struggle to Support: A Parent’s Story of DLD, School Challenges, and Finding Belonging

"We Were Hanging On By a Thread"

My son has always found talking and understanding really hard. He was diagnosed with DLD when he was little, and we had speech and language therapy for a while — but then we were discharged. After that, it felt like we were just left to get on with it.  

School has never been easy for him. He couldn’t keep up in class, didn’t understand what was going on, and other kids just didn’t get him. Over time, he became more and more withdrawn. He got bullied and sidelined. Even the teacher seemed to give up on him, constantly making excuses and more often than not, he’d end up longer in a support class with a classroom assistant which did absolutely nothing for his education or his wellbeing. Putting kids who struggle with communication and have sensory challenges with kids who can be rowdy and display anger only exacerbates negative feelings and emotions in other kids. He was always angry or upset — and so was I. He didn’t trust the adults who were supposed to help him and would fly into meltdowns if he felt he wasn't being heard or misunderstood. I couldn’t blame him. He was frustrated all the time. 

We tried working with the school, but they didn’t really know what to do. He was seen as difficult. Some staff were kind and tried, but the plans that were meant to help him just didn’t work. Techers don't have the skills that a boy like mine needs. He needs more one to one support which is virtually impossible in a class of 30. He was being bullied, ignored by classmates, and started to dread going in. Most mornings were a battle. Watching the fear and anxiety rise in him every day was soul destroying. Some days he just stayed in his room and refused to come out at all. 

Then the self-harming started — pulling his hair, scratching his skin until it bled. We tried to get help, but the waiting list for mental health services was years long! It was unbelievable to hear that.  I felt completely alone. I was scared for him, and for our family. His wee sister didn’t understand what was going on, and I was at breaking point. 

That’s when I got in contact with social work who also referred us to your service. 

From the first conversation, I felt like someone understood. You helped me take a step back and ask: what really needs to change first? We focused on the things that mattered most — his wellbeing, and helping school work for him. 

You gave us a family coach, and my son started one-to-one sessions. They worked on helping him manage his big feelings and gave him tools he could actually use — not just worksheets or advice, which is the usual.  And then he joined your youth club.

That’s been a game changer. He made friends for the first time in years. Real ones. Nobody teases him or calls him weird. He can be himself. The club is the one place he actually wants to go. That made him braver in other places too — even school. 

You’ve helped me talk to the school again, this time with support behind me. We changed the plan. Teachers now understand that it’s not about bad behaviour — it’s about understanding and communication. He’s more settled, he’s less anxious, and I’m not fighting battles alone anymore. The stress that I felt trying to get him what he needed had knocked my confidence and I hadn't realised how much it had affected me and my other son too. From where we all are now to where we were, it’s a far better place.

His words say it best: 

“At the club, I don’t feel stupid. I don’t feel like I have to hide anymore.”  – age 12 

We’ve still got a journey ahead — but now we’ve got a path. And we’ve got people walking it with us.